So wrong, and just bad: My Junior classes are way over-loaded because they happen to be at the same time as the other Junior teacher's classes, and everyone is abandoning ship over there and jumping to mine. For some reason, guidance is allowing this. Hopefully, my statement of protest to the principal (i.e. I went and pointed out that the other teacher's class numbers are actually sane, and that's just not fair) will help. I won't hold my breath, but I can hope.
So wrong, yet funny: The joke that one of my redneck students told. Keep in mind, Walmart is quite the popular hangout for these kids.
Kid1: Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?
Kid2: ???
Kid1: Because they're all Targets!
Even funnier than that are the kids that had to have that explained to them...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
short but funny
So. Faculty meeting. Yeah, they suck in general, but sometimes we get some gems.
We're talking about the tardy policy. And at my school, we have block scheduling with 3rd period being the lunch block. We have 5 lunches, so 3/5ths of the school go to lunch in the middle of their 3rd period class and come back. That means the kids have two opportunities to be tardy. But in NCWise, you can only mark them tardy once per class. Dilemma.
Teacher1: What happens if the student is tardy to your class twice in one day?
Teacher2: Do we mark them re-tardy?
Principal: *silence as she tries to keep her face composed*
Everyone else: *dies laughing*
I know. Very un-PC. But so funny, especially if you were there.
We're talking about the tardy policy. And at my school, we have block scheduling with 3rd period being the lunch block. We have 5 lunches, so 3/5ths of the school go to lunch in the middle of their 3rd period class and come back. That means the kids have two opportunities to be tardy. But in NCWise, you can only mark them tardy once per class. Dilemma.
Teacher1: What happens if the student is tardy to your class twice in one day?
Teacher2: Do we mark them re-tardy?
Principal: *silence as she tries to keep her face composed*
Everyone else: *dies laughing*
I know. Very un-PC. But so funny, especially if you were there.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Misnomer
I think the term "Teacher Workday" is a big misnomer. Why? Let's take a look at my day today as an example.
7:45am: Arrive at the school just in time to board the bus, to get to another school for our county wide "Celebration" (read as: pep rally for the teachers, including the screaming and the cheering, and there was even an instance of body surfing)
8:15am: Arrive at aforementioned 2nd school and mosey into the auditorium amidst a plethora of overly enthusiastic elementary school teachers (see previous mention of body surfing).
8:30am: The "Celebration" begins! Mostly, they tell a few bad teacher jokes, give us some stats about the county school district, and attempt to inspire us to work even harder this year.
10:00am: Release from the mandatory celebration. That we were all told to wear the faculty shirts for, so we were all dressed alike. I mentioned this to my mom and she said it sounded an awful lot like Communism...
10:10am: Board the bus that was parked forever away to get back to my school.
10:35am: Finally arrive at my school. All right! Time to get some work done! After I walk up to the office, sign in, and check my mail box.
11:00am: Return to classroom after being wrapped up in various conversations on the way to and from the office. I think I promised to do several things which I can't remember at the moment. Hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later...
11:00am-11:40am: All right! I actually did some work in this time. I...copy and pasted last year's parent letter and edited out about 20 words, and added a paragraph. Did the same to my classroom procedures note.
11:40am: Hey, we have a faculty meeting at 1pm. Better go get some lunch. We'll just go to Quizno's and bring it back.
12:05pm: Back from Quizno's, time to eat.
12:35pm: Check email, answer questions from the new employees that have stopped in my room. Run to printer to pick up printed drafts of parent letter and procedures.
12:45pm: Oh, damn. Time to head up to the media center for the faculty meeting. Hope I'll have time to do some work after the meeting. Can't imagine it will be more than an hour and a half, right? right?
1:00pm-3:35pm: Faculty meeting, in which I'm pretty sure I didn't actually learn anything new that wasn't also provided to me in printed form, which I could surely read on my own. I only have a Master's degree, though...so maybe I wouldn't be able to understand it. Or maybe it's just a requirement for us to sit in faculty meetings for a certain number of hours per year. I did get some quality doodling done. Graph paper is good for this. It almost makes me feel artistic.
3:45pm: Check mailbox and run back to room, quickly packing up so I can head home. I'd stay, but I have to drop my bike off at the shop before the mechanic leaves at 5pm.
3:55pm: Leave school.
So. There was what, 45 minutes of work time in there? Sure, I didn't have to go out to get food for lunch. I could have just packed a lunch or something, but when you only get to go out to lunch a handful of times per year, you like to take advantage of things. But honestly, I'm curious about how I'm supposed to get any *work* done on my workday when they schedule meetings that take up so much of my time. Thankfully tomorrow I only have one meeting. And another faculty meeting on Thursday, which just baffles me. 2.5 hours that I'll never get back apparently just weren't enough...
Ahh, I love teacher workdays.
7:45am: Arrive at the school just in time to board the bus, to get to another school for our county wide "Celebration" (read as: pep rally for the teachers, including the screaming and the cheering, and there was even an instance of body surfing)
8:15am: Arrive at aforementioned 2nd school and mosey into the auditorium amidst a plethora of overly enthusiastic elementary school teachers (see previous mention of body surfing).
8:30am: The "Celebration" begins! Mostly, they tell a few bad teacher jokes, give us some stats about the county school district, and attempt to inspire us to work even harder this year.
10:00am: Release from the mandatory celebration. That we were all told to wear the faculty shirts for, so we were all dressed alike. I mentioned this to my mom and she said it sounded an awful lot like Communism...
10:10am: Board the bus that was parked forever away to get back to my school.
10:35am: Finally arrive at my school. All right! Time to get some work done! After I walk up to the office, sign in, and check my mail box.
11:00am: Return to classroom after being wrapped up in various conversations on the way to and from the office. I think I promised to do several things which I can't remember at the moment. Hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later...
11:00am-11:40am: All right! I actually did some work in this time. I...copy and pasted last year's parent letter and edited out about 20 words, and added a paragraph. Did the same to my classroom procedures note.
11:40am: Hey, we have a faculty meeting at 1pm. Better go get some lunch. We'll just go to Quizno's and bring it back.
12:05pm: Back from Quizno's, time to eat.
12:35pm: Check email, answer questions from the new employees that have stopped in my room. Run to printer to pick up printed drafts of parent letter and procedures.
12:45pm: Oh, damn. Time to head up to the media center for the faculty meeting. Hope I'll have time to do some work after the meeting. Can't imagine it will be more than an hour and a half, right? right?
1:00pm-3:35pm: Faculty meeting, in which I'm pretty sure I didn't actually learn anything new that wasn't also provided to me in printed form, which I could surely read on my own. I only have a Master's degree, though...so maybe I wouldn't be able to understand it. Or maybe it's just a requirement for us to sit in faculty meetings for a certain number of hours per year. I did get some quality doodling done. Graph paper is good for this. It almost makes me feel artistic.
3:45pm: Check mailbox and run back to room, quickly packing up so I can head home. I'd stay, but I have to drop my bike off at the shop before the mechanic leaves at 5pm.
3:55pm: Leave school.
So. There was what, 45 minutes of work time in there? Sure, I didn't have to go out to get food for lunch. I could have just packed a lunch or something, but when you only get to go out to lunch a handful of times per year, you like to take advantage of things. But honestly, I'm curious about how I'm supposed to get any *work* done on my workday when they schedule meetings that take up so much of my time. Thankfully tomorrow I only have one meeting. And another faculty meeting on Thursday, which just baffles me. 2.5 hours that I'll never get back apparently just weren't enough...
Ahh, I love teacher workdays.
Monday, August 18, 2008
scraping the bottom of the barrel
So. Just got back to my classroom today, for the first teacher workday. Seeing my room made me wonder what kind of trained monkey they had as the summer school teacher in my classroom. He used up all my staples and didn't replace them. He used all but about 3 of my post-it notes. My pencils were all gone. Common courtesy, I would think, would lead most people to replace such things before leaving. Heck, he could have gotten them all from our supply closet in the office.
But! It gets better. My posters were gone. They were there when I left, maintenance didn't remove them, and my beautiful map of fifteen century England is gone. How do you not notice kids taking and/or destroying a poster that was on the wall? I'd certainly make a point to leave the room the way I found it, if I were in some one else's classroom. I hear they were pretty desperate for summer school teachers, though. Wonder if he was even fully human.
Ok, ok. Some missing supplies and a few posters that, while I liked them, were admittedly free aren't really a huge deal. Easy enough to replace.
The big deal is the holes in my floor. Yes, you read that right. Somehow, they managed to make holes in the tile and get down to the sub floor. I'm just baffled. How does that happen? More importantly, how does that happen without the teacher noticing, throwing the kids out, reporting them, and getting them stuck with footing the bill? I mean...destruction of public property, here folks. I know that some of the kids at summer school this year were a little on the trouble side. That's how a lot of them ended up needing summer school in the first place. However, if you've gotten to the point that you are physically damaging my classroom for a prank (which is what I can only assume was the case), then to me, you've lost your chance at passing that class for the year. On the other end, that teacher should be kicked in the head repeatedly for letting that happen. I thought the teacher that let the kids draw on my floor (in permanent marker) was bad, but this definitely tops it by a lot. He also apparently let the kids write in our brand new EOC coach books that are not supposed to be used as workbooks. I almost wish I had agreed to work this summer.
I've been told that they put in a work order to fix the holes in my floor. A less cynical me would expect them to show up one morning during my planning, or perhaps after school some day soon. This week during work days would be ideal. Much more realistic after teaching there for three years, I'm guessing they'll show up in the middle of class next week. If I'm giving a quiz, chances of maintenance showing up increase tenfold.
We all know logic and public school systems don't mix.
But! It gets better. My posters were gone. They were there when I left, maintenance didn't remove them, and my beautiful map of fifteen century England is gone. How do you not notice kids taking and/or destroying a poster that was on the wall? I'd certainly make a point to leave the room the way I found it, if I were in some one else's classroom. I hear they were pretty desperate for summer school teachers, though. Wonder if he was even fully human.
Ok, ok. Some missing supplies and a few posters that, while I liked them, were admittedly free aren't really a huge deal. Easy enough to replace.
The big deal is the holes in my floor. Yes, you read that right. Somehow, they managed to make holes in the tile and get down to the sub floor. I'm just baffled. How does that happen? More importantly, how does that happen without the teacher noticing, throwing the kids out, reporting them, and getting them stuck with footing the bill? I mean...destruction of public property, here folks. I know that some of the kids at summer school this year were a little on the trouble side. That's how a lot of them ended up needing summer school in the first place. However, if you've gotten to the point that you are physically damaging my classroom for a prank (which is what I can only assume was the case), then to me, you've lost your chance at passing that class for the year. On the other end, that teacher should be kicked in the head repeatedly for letting that happen. I thought the teacher that let the kids draw on my floor (in permanent marker) was bad, but this definitely tops it by a lot. He also apparently let the kids write in our brand new EOC coach books that are not supposed to be used as workbooks. I almost wish I had agreed to work this summer.
I've been told that they put in a work order to fix the holes in my floor. A less cynical me would expect them to show up one morning during my planning, or perhaps after school some day soon. This week during work days would be ideal. Much more realistic after teaching there for three years, I'm guessing they'll show up in the middle of class next week. If I'm giving a quiz, chances of maintenance showing up increase tenfold.
We all know logic and public school systems don't mix.
Friday, August 8, 2008
impatiently waiting
I went on vacation this week, and it was fun. It was also a pleasant distraction from my thoughts of the impending school year. I didn't think about class rosters, gradebooks, homework assignments, or any of that crap while I was away. As soon as I got home, though, I was kind of expecting to see my beginning-of-the-year packet in the mail. Afterall, teacher workdays start a week from Monday. I'm sure that by now they at least have a schedule for me, so I can start planning how my days will go.
The all important tidbit, of course, is when my planning period will be. All teachers wait eagerly to hear when that will be. It's our moment of peace in the day, when we don't have to deal with students. It's when we get to do all that teacher stuff. Like...copying things, for our students to do. Grading papers that our students did. Making angry marks on the papers that our students (I just typed "stupids" ...Freudian slip anyone?) filled out incorrectly, or worse, copied off of other students. Often they've copied it off of students that have filled it out incorrectly. Double whammie. Planning period is the time we get to call the parents of the students that did something great, or more often, something stupid. It's a chance for us to go talk to other teachers about ways to help certain students understand something, or new ways to present things to our students.
Yep. No dealing with students at all during your planning period.
Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that often students will come to make up tests or quizzes during your planning period.
Anyway. I'd really just like to know when my planning period will be, and which classes I'll be teaching when. I really don't think that's too much to ask for. But, I guess all these crazy delays in scheduling info are because my school is in the process of switching from our old system, SIMS, to our new system, NCWise. Don't let the name fool you. It probably should have been called NCrefreakingtarded, but that was surely too long to be easily remembered. From what I've gotten to do with the system so far, it has a few minor improvements over SIMS, but mostly just sucks. Sure, I'm supposed to have all my students' contact information right at my fingertips...and it's there all right. But most of the phone numbers are no longer in service, or missing all together, and that's about as much as I can get to from it. Email addresses? Nah, too logical to make those easily accessible on the web. I'm supposed to be able to look at my students' full schedules, so I can see what other classes they're in, and how they're doing. Oh, right, but I didn't have access to that information...it's classified. Oh yeah, and when the database converted grades from numeric to letter grades, the system translated 77s as Ds when they're supposed to be Cs, so we all had to go back and change the grade by hand for every student that got a 77. I had a lot of mediocre achievers last semester, which means I had a lot of 77s to fix...
Upon further reflection, it seems that the fact that I still don't know what I'll be teaching 2 weeks from now can clearly be blamed on NCTard. Way to go, state inflicted programming.
The all important tidbit, of course, is when my planning period will be. All teachers wait eagerly to hear when that will be. It's our moment of peace in the day, when we don't have to deal with students. It's when we get to do all that teacher stuff. Like...copying things, for our students to do. Grading papers that our students did. Making angry marks on the papers that our students (I just typed "stupids" ...Freudian slip anyone?) filled out incorrectly, or worse, copied off of other students. Often they've copied it off of students that have filled it out incorrectly. Double whammie. Planning period is the time we get to call the parents of the students that did something great, or more often, something stupid. It's a chance for us to go talk to other teachers about ways to help certain students understand something, or new ways to present things to our students.
Yep. No dealing with students at all during your planning period.
Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that often students will come to make up tests or quizzes during your planning period.
Anyway. I'd really just like to know when my planning period will be, and which classes I'll be teaching when. I really don't think that's too much to ask for. But, I guess all these crazy delays in scheduling info are because my school is in the process of switching from our old system, SIMS, to our new system, NCWise. Don't let the name fool you. It probably should have been called NCrefreakingtarded, but that was surely too long to be easily remembered. From what I've gotten to do with the system so far, it has a few minor improvements over SIMS, but mostly just sucks. Sure, I'm supposed to have all my students' contact information right at my fingertips...and it's there all right. But most of the phone numbers are no longer in service, or missing all together, and that's about as much as I can get to from it. Email addresses? Nah, too logical to make those easily accessible on the web. I'm supposed to be able to look at my students' full schedules, so I can see what other classes they're in, and how they're doing. Oh, right, but I didn't have access to that information...it's classified. Oh yeah, and when the database converted grades from numeric to letter grades, the system translated 77s as Ds when they're supposed to be Cs, so we all had to go back and change the grade by hand for every student that got a 77. I had a lot of mediocre achievers last semester, which means I had a lot of 77s to fix...
Upon further reflection, it seems that the fact that I still don't know what I'll be teaching 2 weeks from now can clearly be blamed on NCTard. Way to go, state inflicted programming.
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