Say wat?

Again a long hiatus, but at least I have a few gems to share that I've saved up.  Mostly, I've been drowning so much in trying to get this crap graded that I haven't felt like I have the time to write up blog posts pointing out how our educational system has clearly failed.

These first snippets come from a "research paper" on selling vs. restoring old cars.

"How to know what price to sell one's part at need's to compare the prices of some other places and web sites."

So many things wrong there, I didn't honestly know what to tell him to fix it.  I think I ended up just underlining it and putting a big old question mark next to it.  I'm still not sure exactly what that sentence is supposed to say.

"next i am goin to talk about the increase in prices for certian parts."

Mind you, this paper was in fact typed, so why they didn't at least run spell check is beyond me.  I am impressed with his perseverance in writing like a second grader (no offense to second graders) despite the many times I told them that a: they should not use first person in their paper, b: they should not tell me what they're going to write about next in their paper, and c: they should use formal language in their paper.  I'm glad that he listened so carefully to my instructions.

"How many of a certain parts that ceritan company made will impact the price of that part."

The most impressive part about this sentence, for me, is that he managed to spell "certain" both correctly and incorrectly, and incorrectly in a different manner than he had earlier in the same paragraph.  That's just...special.

Now, a special treat.  I recently gave an essay assignment on Medieval Romance, which was supposed to be a 1 page essay on one of three topics I offered.  One student chose the topic "King Arthur as a prime example of a romance hero" for his essay, and then promptly ignored everything I had taught them about what a romance hero is.  I present to you his essay in its entirety:

         KING ARTHUR
   How was the king Arthut a prime example o fa romance hero? Well there are some ways that he fulfilled that title. First he is going to mary a woman named Guenivere. Second Arthur dies for his town and for his people.  Now i am going to tell you how he completed the title "Romance hero".
   First Arthur is planning on marrying a yong lady named Guenivere, but Guenevere is in a prediciment because she loves a man named lancelot. Lancelot is a man who goes day by day, and doesnt kno wat to do just where ever faith takes him. So the marrige took place and Guenevere and Arthur are married.  So Lancelot saves Guenevere's life and Guenevere ends up kissing Lance lol but while they are kissing Arthur walks in and catches them.
   Now the wat Arthur is a Romance hero is that he Died for his people, now the way he did that was when Lancelot and Guenevere were on court than Galagant attacked but rode up to Arthur and asked for his town and total controll. But Arthur didnt like that too much so he said no and one of Galagant's men shot Arthur with a cross bow and killed Arthur.
    In conclusion that is how Arthur is a "Romance hero". First he is a marrige with a young lady.  And second he dies for his own people and for his own dignity.

I just don't even really know where to start.  I should probably tell you that, while they were allowed to turn this essay in handwritten, this student took the time and effort to type his up.  Clicking on spell check, once again, would have just been too much, I guess.  Then there's the character names.  I'm not sure if there are now two women in King Arthur's life, or if this kid just couldn't decide which of the many valid spellings of Guinevere's name to use, so he went with two of his own creation.  Secondly, we've got lancelot, Lancelot, and Lance lol.  I like the third one, but I can't say I've ever seen it before.  Finally, there's poor Malagant, who gets called Galagant.  You'd think they'd be able to remember at least the first letter of the bad guy's name, especially after we discussed the fact that his name even started with the prefix "mal," which means "bad."  Then again, this kid ignored just about every other suggestion I made for their essays, including proofreading and actually engaging his brain while writing it.

So...not sure when the next entry will come, as I'm busy trying to turn what you see above into something worthy of a high school diploma...