So. When the school year first started, it took me about 3 hours to grade my classes' journals each week. See, I ask my kids to write at the beginning of each class for the first 5 minutes or so, and I give them a prompt of some sort, usually related to what we're reading in class. Their task for the week is to fill one side of one sheet of notebook paper. Not too much really (though some of my students seem to have difficulty with the concept of filling the page and leave an awful lot of blank space, then wonder why they don't get full credit) for them to do.
I've discovered a way to make this grading process go faster. I've stopped actually reading them. I can still make the comments that make it *look* like I'm reading it, because I pick a line or two here or there to read, and comment on that. They don't know that I don't read the rest. Mostly, I read the entries where I've specifically asked their opinion on something we've done in class. It strokes my ego nicely to read them telling me how much they enjoyed my project. Of course, then I sometimes get entries like this:
"Well, I haven't done the project yet, but I really like it! It's more fun than writing a paper. I'll try to turn it in next week!"
How can you like a project you haven't actually done, I wonder? Oh well. Never seek logic in a high school student's thoughts.
Of course, never seek logic from your local central office team either. I got to go to a district department meeting (essentially), where they were giving us cutting edge information to use in our classroom! Not. What were they teaching the room full of experienced English teachers about?
Vocabulary.
I particularly loved the part where they told us the exact same thing they told us at these meetings last year. Wait, that was the whole meeting.
On the plus side, since there was nothing of any actual merit being presented, I got some work done on my NaNoWriMo novel. In case you're wondering why I've gone silent this month, it's because I've been busy knocking out a 50000 word novel over at www.nanowrimo.org . Because I don't have enough to do, I need to give myself crazy writing deadlines. I'm learning well from my students, I think...
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
you're just not that special
For some reason, all of my students seem to think that the rules don't apply to them.
I announced on Monday of this week that all make-up and late work needed to be in by Friday, since it is the end of the grading period on Monday the 27th, and I need time to grade things. Despite the fact that I posted this on the board and reminded them every day this week, I had at least a dozen students today ask me if they could turn in x-assignment on Monday.
This baffles me. What part of "all work must be in by Friday, October 24th to receive credit" is confusing? There was no fine print that said, "I'll accept it later if you ask nicely!" Or, "Flash you're 'I'm special' card to receive a weekend extension on assignments!"
Equally baffling are the kids that turn in an assignment at the beginning of class, and then ask me at some point later in the same class period what their updated grade in the class is. Apparently they think the papers grade themselves and are cooperative enough to enter their scores into the computer for me. I'll admit, there are some kids smart enough to preface their question with "If I get full credit for that," before they ask what their grade will be. I still want to laugh at them though.
A: if you're turning in late, you're not getting full credit.
B: Your idea of done completely and my idea of done completely are in all likelihood completely different.
C: Even if I could somehow predict how well you had done on the assignment without actually looking at it (which actually for some of them I probably could, because they probably did a shitty job of it), why do you think that your English teacher is so good at math that she could calculate the change in grade in her head. Or hell, remember what your grade was to begin with. Sorry there, bright one, but I have over 90 students, and I'd be flat out lying if I told you I knew your grades by heart. Even if I could remember all those numbers, I wouldn't want to take up all that space in my brain. Why memorize something that the computer can keep track of for me?
I get endless chuckles (in my head, at least...I try not to laugh in their face) from seniors that seem to think they can raise their grade from a C to an A in one day, or with one extra credit assignment. They desperately want an A so they don't have to take the final exam, but they're not willing to work for it consistently, and think it's reasonable to try do it all last second. Some of these kids need a quick reality check, if they think that's the way the world works. Granted, there are exceptions to all rules, but in general, if you want to be exempt from the final, you have to work consistently. Sorry 20 missing assignments boy, there's nothing you can do at this point to get exempt.
Added bonus stupid for today: several of my students told me point blank that Obama was the anti-christ. When I asked them their source, they told me their minister told them it was in the Bible, but couldn't give any details. It's beliefs like this that scare me. What's worse is that they don't teach their children to question what they're told, they just absorb it, and cling to it with all their might. Ahh, those crazy fundies...
I announced on Monday of this week that all make-up and late work needed to be in by Friday, since it is the end of the grading period on Monday the 27th, and I need time to grade things. Despite the fact that I posted this on the board and reminded them every day this week, I had at least a dozen students today ask me if they could turn in x-assignment on Monday.
This baffles me. What part of "all work must be in by Friday, October 24th to receive credit" is confusing? There was no fine print that said, "I'll accept it later if you ask nicely!" Or, "Flash you're 'I'm special' card to receive a weekend extension on assignments!"
Equally baffling are the kids that turn in an assignment at the beginning of class, and then ask me at some point later in the same class period what their updated grade in the class is. Apparently they think the papers grade themselves and are cooperative enough to enter their scores into the computer for me. I'll admit, there are some kids smart enough to preface their question with "If I get full credit for that," before they ask what their grade will be. I still want to laugh at them though.
A: if you're turning in late, you're not getting full credit.
B: Your idea of done completely and my idea of done completely are in all likelihood completely different.
C: Even if I could somehow predict how well you had done on the assignment without actually looking at it (which actually for some of them I probably could, because they probably did a shitty job of it), why do you think that your English teacher is so good at math that she could calculate the change in grade in her head. Or hell, remember what your grade was to begin with. Sorry there, bright one, but I have over 90 students, and I'd be flat out lying if I told you I knew your grades by heart. Even if I could remember all those numbers, I wouldn't want to take up all that space in my brain. Why memorize something that the computer can keep track of for me?
I get endless chuckles (in my head, at least...I try not to laugh in their face) from seniors that seem to think they can raise their grade from a C to an A in one day, or with one extra credit assignment. They desperately want an A so they don't have to take the final exam, but they're not willing to work for it consistently, and think it's reasonable to try do it all last second. Some of these kids need a quick reality check, if they think that's the way the world works. Granted, there are exceptions to all rules, but in general, if you want to be exempt from the final, you have to work consistently. Sorry 20 missing assignments boy, there's nothing you can do at this point to get exempt.
Added bonus stupid for today: several of my students told me point blank that Obama was the anti-christ. When I asked them their source, they told me their minister told them it was in the Bible, but couldn't give any details. It's beliefs like this that scare me. What's worse is that they don't teach their children to question what they're told, they just absorb it, and cling to it with all their might. Ahh, those crazy fundies...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Reflections on an American classic
As an English teacher, one of the requirements of my job is to assign essays. The most recent was an in-class essay reflection on The Crucible. I can't help but get upset when I grade things like this, however, because it seems that somewhere down the line, elementary and middle school has failed. I get Juniors that can't write a coherent sentence, and I don't mean just one or two of them. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with a "sentence" like this:
Abbigail was my least favorite Because she thought that she was people only her signed but she was lieing the hole time that she did it so she the one I dont like the most time so that is the person I least like the most is Abbigail the dum one.
I can't honestly say I know what he's talking about. I know it's supposed to be telling me about why Abigail Williams is his least favorite character in The Crucible, but I'm not sure what that he really means. Of course, another student gave me some very prudent information about how the ending could have been made better:
Th were plenty of ways to avoid what happened in the end of the movie. One incedent is when the head of the court asked elizebeth Proctor what happend with abbigail and her husbaned. All she had to do is tell th truth about what had happend. THey the would have relized she was just a crazy hoe!.
You can't argue with his logic, perhaps, but you can most definitely laugh at his lack of a command of the English language. I also was unaware that Abigail was a garden tool.
One girl made a good recommendation about how to prove that Abigail was just acting and the girls were just following her.
A way they could have avoid the end of the play is to get Abby alone and put her on the spot. If the court people would've done that they would have seen that there was no evil things. Also, get all the girls by themselfs to show how they really are. or, the cour people could have done lie detectors.
I didn't know the Puritans had access to such technology! Actually, the problem is that somehow, despite the costuming in the movie and the fact that I said it took place in the 1860s a good half a dozen times, she thought these events took place in the 1950s. Of course, this was the same girl that thought I was serious when I said I was allergic to lies, which could explain a lot.
And some of them just...can't write. It's like there's some sort of disconnect between their brain and their hands. I mean, I almost thought this student was intelligent from talking to her. Then I got her first written assignment, and I was just baffled. What am I supposed to do to help a high school Junior that writes like this:
The movie made me feel like they was just hurting people for know reason. Abgail made me feel like she was try to blame everyone else and she would not to tell them she did it. It was dump because Abgail was trying to get out of it. why would they think people would do witch craft. Yes because he could have just confese of being a witch. Then his name just would have change. They would have probably for gave him. He wouldn't been hung.
Transitions? What transitions? Wouldn't want your readers to actually be able to follow along, would you? And just all the little things that make me both laugh and cry. Mostly laugh, but I think that's largely a defense mechanism so I don't try to gouge out my eyes with a spoon.
On the plus side, I'm done grading those essays. On the minus side, these are the same kids I have to somehow coax a 5 page research paper out of by the end of the semester...
Abbigail was my least favorite Because she thought that she was people only her signed but she was lieing the hole time that she did it so she the one I dont like the most time so that is the person I least like the most is Abbigail the dum one.
I can't honestly say I know what he's talking about. I know it's supposed to be telling me about why Abigail Williams is his least favorite character in The Crucible, but I'm not sure what that he really means. Of course, another student gave me some very prudent information about how the ending could have been made better:
Th were plenty of ways to avoid what happened in the end of the movie. One incedent is when the head of the court asked elizebeth Proctor what happend with abbigail and her husbaned. All she had to do is tell th truth about what had happend. THey the would have relized she was just a crazy hoe!.
You can't argue with his logic, perhaps, but you can most definitely laugh at his lack of a command of the English language. I also was unaware that Abigail was a garden tool.
One girl made a good recommendation about how to prove that Abigail was just acting and the girls were just following her.
A way they could have avoid the end of the play is to get Abby alone and put her on the spot. If the court people would've done that they would have seen that there was no evil things. Also, get all the girls by themselfs to show how they really are. or, the cour people could have done lie detectors.
I didn't know the Puritans had access to such technology! Actually, the problem is that somehow, despite the costuming in the movie and the fact that I said it took place in the 1860s a good half a dozen times, she thought these events took place in the 1950s. Of course, this was the same girl that thought I was serious when I said I was allergic to lies, which could explain a lot.
And some of them just...can't write. It's like there's some sort of disconnect between their brain and their hands. I mean, I almost thought this student was intelligent from talking to her. Then I got her first written assignment, and I was just baffled. What am I supposed to do to help a high school Junior that writes like this:
The movie made me feel like they was just hurting people for know reason. Abgail made me feel like she was try to blame everyone else and she would not to tell them she did it. It was dump because Abgail was trying to get out of it. why would they think people would do witch craft. Yes because he could have just confese of being a witch. Then his name just would have change. They would have probably for gave him. He wouldn't been hung.
Transitions? What transitions? Wouldn't want your readers to actually be able to follow along, would you? And just all the little things that make me both laugh and cry. Mostly laugh, but I think that's largely a defense mechanism so I don't try to gouge out my eyes with a spoon.
On the plus side, I'm done grading those essays. On the minus side, these are the same kids I have to somehow coax a 5 page research paper out of by the end of the semester...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Shedding some light...
I'm grading journals for this week, and I've just learned something that might put many people's belief systems on end. In fact, the Bible may have to be rewritten. Not to mention the history books.
Ben Franklin is a man who invented light.
I mean, I always thought that was attributed to God, or some higher being. Apparently they lived in darkness until the late 1700s, though. Who knew. Guess that makes Shakespeare's work all the more impressive, since he did all that without light...
Of course, all the kids telling me that he "invented" electricity also amuse me. I'm pretty sure electricity was there, we just had to find it.
Ben Franklin is a man who invented light.
I mean, I always thought that was attributed to God, or some higher being. Apparently they lived in darkness until the late 1700s, though. Who knew. Guess that makes Shakespeare's work all the more impressive, since he did all that without light...
Of course, all the kids telling me that he "invented" electricity also amuse me. I'm pretty sure electricity was there, we just had to find it.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I suppose I should apologize.
I said there would be hilarity when I graded my seniors' personal statements. There were quite a few choice snippets I had initially intended to post, but I was busy, and by the time I had the time to write a post on here, I wanted nothing to do with the essays.
Now, I'm not saying they were all bad. There were even a few that I would call "good" essays. There were a couple that would be put to better use folded up and shoved under an uneven table leg to hold it steady. But I was so frustrated by the general stupidity of a senior English class (you know, graduation requirement) and the number of essays I either got late, or in several cases *never* got. And then they wonder why they're failing when they get their first progress report.
Really? You don't do the only major assignment so far, and you're wondering why you're failing? That's like zipping past a cop going 75 mph in a school zone and wondering why you're getting a ticket.
In addition to this fun, there's the fact that last week was hell. Apparently different groups within the same school district can't actually talk to each other, else last week would not have been so bad. Instead, I had a meeting every day from Monday through Thursday, each from a different group, and all making my week feel like it would never end. In contrast, the week before was empty, and this week is empty. Couldn't one of those groups have noticed this and maybe scheduled one of the meetings for this week instead? Nah, that's too logical. Wouldn't want to do something that made sense. That would throw everyone off.
Oh, there was one bright spot to the week though. Kid was dumb enough to give me the finger in class while my back was turned. What really made it dumb is that the whole class is tired of his stupid shit because it keeps pissing me off and causing the whole class to get scolded, so after class several students turned him in. So he got a write up and a call home (and wonder of wonders, the number was accurate, and dad actually said he'd do something. Stupid kid actually pulled up in the driveway as I was talking to dad. Too bad I couldn't have been a fly on the wall for that one.) I love when the kids turn against each other. I can stand there and wait for the rest of the class to start telling the clowns to shut up. I get a kick out of that. It's kind of like putting two Japanese fighting fish in the same tank...
Now, I'm not saying they were all bad. There were even a few that I would call "good" essays. There were a couple that would be put to better use folded up and shoved under an uneven table leg to hold it steady. But I was so frustrated by the general stupidity of a senior English class (you know, graduation requirement) and the number of essays I either got late, or in several cases *never* got. And then they wonder why they're failing when they get their first progress report.
Really? You don't do the only major assignment so far, and you're wondering why you're failing? That's like zipping past a cop going 75 mph in a school zone and wondering why you're getting a ticket.
In addition to this fun, there's the fact that last week was hell. Apparently different groups within the same school district can't actually talk to each other, else last week would not have been so bad. Instead, I had a meeting every day from Monday through Thursday, each from a different group, and all making my week feel like it would never end. In contrast, the week before was empty, and this week is empty. Couldn't one of those groups have noticed this and maybe scheduled one of the meetings for this week instead? Nah, that's too logical. Wouldn't want to do something that made sense. That would throw everyone off.
Oh, there was one bright spot to the week though. Kid was dumb enough to give me the finger in class while my back was turned. What really made it dumb is that the whole class is tired of his stupid shit because it keeps pissing me off and causing the whole class to get scolded, so after class several students turned him in. So he got a write up and a call home (and wonder of wonders, the number was accurate, and dad actually said he'd do something. Stupid kid actually pulled up in the driveway as I was talking to dad. Too bad I couldn't have been a fly on the wall for that one.) I love when the kids turn against each other. I can stand there and wait for the rest of the class to start telling the clowns to shut up. I get a kick out of that. It's kind of like putting two Japanese fighting fish in the same tank...
Saturday, September 6, 2008
More scary than funny. Well, still funny.
As much fun as it is to mock my students' little stupid comments and what not, sometimes what I see really kind of scares me.
I'm grading journal entries from my Juniors, and some of the writing I see reminds me more of my 7 year old niece than what a 16 year old should be writing. For example, in response to the topic asking how America has changed since the early explorers, and whether these changes were good or not, I got this:
"It has charge alot. There are more jobs. There is more house. We have alot more techdogy. Like computer vidoes game .t.v. The charge are good. We have alot more medicates to help people get better. If we didn't have medics alot of people would died. There would be lose people in the world."
Don't get me wrong, a part of me laughs my ass off when I read this shit. But another part of me can't help but wonder how the fuck the kid got all the way to Junior English and writes like that. This isn't one of my special ed kids, either. At least for them, I understand. This kid is "normal" by educational standards, and there are more like that. Here's another entry, in response to my asking what hardships the Pilgrims faced. (We had just read about how they had had some ship problems on the way the day before, so that's why there are ship references.)
"Because they ship are built very good. they will brake easly. I would have been bad but again good. The bad is cause people was trying to kill them. They went to missortia in later December. It was freeze and they trying to build houses."
I'm not sure what "missortia" is, though I suppose by default it equals "Massachusetts" since that's where the Pilgrims landed and all. Still, the urge to gouge out my eyes with a spoon is strong. And I still have about 40 more journals to read this weekend. Just wait until we get to my seniors' personal statements. The mockery will never end, I'm sure. Don't worry, I'll continue to leave off names, and gender where possible, to protect the functionally retarded.
I'm grading journal entries from my Juniors, and some of the writing I see reminds me more of my 7 year old niece than what a 16 year old should be writing. For example, in response to the topic asking how America has changed since the early explorers, and whether these changes were good or not, I got this:
"It has charge alot. There are more jobs. There is more house. We have alot more techdogy. Like computer vidoes game .t.v. The charge are good. We have alot more medicates to help people get better. If we didn't have medics alot of people would died. There would be lose people in the world."
Don't get me wrong, a part of me laughs my ass off when I read this shit. But another part of me can't help but wonder how the fuck the kid got all the way to Junior English and writes like that. This isn't one of my special ed kids, either. At least for them, I understand. This kid is "normal" by educational standards, and there are more like that. Here's another entry, in response to my asking what hardships the Pilgrims faced. (We had just read about how they had had some ship problems on the way the day before, so that's why there are ship references.)
"Because they ship are built very good. they will brake easly. I would have been bad but again good. The bad is cause people was trying to kill them. They went to missortia in later December. It was freeze and they trying to build houses."
I'm not sure what "missortia" is, though I suppose by default it equals "Massachusetts" since that's where the Pilgrims landed and all. Still, the urge to gouge out my eyes with a spoon is strong. And I still have about 40 more journals to read this weekend. Just wait until we get to my seniors' personal statements. The mockery will never end, I'm sure. Don't worry, I'll continue to leave off names, and gender where possible, to protect the functionally retarded.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Stupid is as stupid does.
I like to joke around with my students. I am by nature a sarcastic person, and as much as I may be told by workshops that sarcasm does not belong in the classroom, I still use it. If I didn't, my students would have to learn to actually read on their own, because I'd never speak.
Anyway. One of my long-standing jokes with my classes is that I am allergic to lies/bullshit. This allergy manifests itself as "sneezing" when a kid starts trying to weasel their way out of something. Only thing is the sneeze sounds oddly like "bullshit" when that happens. Odd, right? Generally, the kids are very quick to pick up on this, because apparently the novelty of a teacher cussing just never wears off.
Well, today, after I've already had several "sneezing" bouts in this class, much of the class is giggling, and I actually state out loud that I have this "allergy" to lies.
Student: Wait, really?
Now, she is a sweet girl, and I really didn't want to hurt her feelings by mocking her incessantly. Luckily, her friends did it for her, so I was able to save my own ass from getting fired.
Other Student: Did you seriously just ask that?
Student: What, I just wanted to make sure!
Other Student: Are you that stupid?
For a moment I wondered if she would take offense, but apparently she's too dense to realize how much they making fun of her.
Anyway. One of my long-standing jokes with my classes is that I am allergic to lies/bullshit. This allergy manifests itself as "sneezing" when a kid starts trying to weasel their way out of something. Only thing is the sneeze sounds oddly like "bullshit" when that happens. Odd, right? Generally, the kids are very quick to pick up on this, because apparently the novelty of a teacher cussing just never wears off.
Well, today, after I've already had several "sneezing" bouts in this class, much of the class is giggling, and I actually state out loud that I have this "allergy" to lies.
Student: Wait, really?
Now, she is a sweet girl, and I really didn't want to hurt her feelings by mocking her incessantly. Luckily, her friends did it for her, so I was able to save my own ass from getting fired.
Other Student: Did you seriously just ask that?
Student: What, I just wanted to make sure!
Other Student: Are you that stupid?
For a moment I wondered if she would take offense, but apparently she's too dense to realize how much they making fun of her.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
So wrong
So wrong, and just bad: My Junior classes are way over-loaded because they happen to be at the same time as the other Junior teacher's classes, and everyone is abandoning ship over there and jumping to mine. For some reason, guidance is allowing this. Hopefully, my statement of protest to the principal (i.e. I went and pointed out that the other teacher's class numbers are actually sane, and that's just not fair) will help. I won't hold my breath, but I can hope.
So wrong, yet funny: The joke that one of my redneck students told. Keep in mind, Walmart is quite the popular hangout for these kids.
Kid1: Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?
Kid2: ???
Kid1: Because they're all Targets!
Even funnier than that are the kids that had to have that explained to them...
So wrong, yet funny: The joke that one of my redneck students told. Keep in mind, Walmart is quite the popular hangout for these kids.
Kid1: Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq?
Kid2: ???
Kid1: Because they're all Targets!
Even funnier than that are the kids that had to have that explained to them...
Thursday, August 21, 2008
short but funny
So. Faculty meeting. Yeah, they suck in general, but sometimes we get some gems.
We're talking about the tardy policy. And at my school, we have block scheduling with 3rd period being the lunch block. We have 5 lunches, so 3/5ths of the school go to lunch in the middle of their 3rd period class and come back. That means the kids have two opportunities to be tardy. But in NCWise, you can only mark them tardy once per class. Dilemma.
Teacher1: What happens if the student is tardy to your class twice in one day?
Teacher2: Do we mark them re-tardy?
Principal: *silence as she tries to keep her face composed*
Everyone else: *dies laughing*
I know. Very un-PC. But so funny, especially if you were there.
We're talking about the tardy policy. And at my school, we have block scheduling with 3rd period being the lunch block. We have 5 lunches, so 3/5ths of the school go to lunch in the middle of their 3rd period class and come back. That means the kids have two opportunities to be tardy. But in NCWise, you can only mark them tardy once per class. Dilemma.
Teacher1: What happens if the student is tardy to your class twice in one day?
Teacher2: Do we mark them re-tardy?
Principal: *silence as she tries to keep her face composed*
Everyone else: *dies laughing*
I know. Very un-PC. But so funny, especially if you were there.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Misnomer
I think the term "Teacher Workday" is a big misnomer. Why? Let's take a look at my day today as an example.
7:45am: Arrive at the school just in time to board the bus, to get to another school for our county wide "Celebration" (read as: pep rally for the teachers, including the screaming and the cheering, and there was even an instance of body surfing)
8:15am: Arrive at aforementioned 2nd school and mosey into the auditorium amidst a plethora of overly enthusiastic elementary school teachers (see previous mention of body surfing).
8:30am: The "Celebration" begins! Mostly, they tell a few bad teacher jokes, give us some stats about the county school district, and attempt to inspire us to work even harder this year.
10:00am: Release from the mandatory celebration. That we were all told to wear the faculty shirts for, so we were all dressed alike. I mentioned this to my mom and she said it sounded an awful lot like Communism...
10:10am: Board the bus that was parked forever away to get back to my school.
10:35am: Finally arrive at my school. All right! Time to get some work done! After I walk up to the office, sign in, and check my mail box.
11:00am: Return to classroom after being wrapped up in various conversations on the way to and from the office. I think I promised to do several things which I can't remember at the moment. Hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later...
11:00am-11:40am: All right! I actually did some work in this time. I...copy and pasted last year's parent letter and edited out about 20 words, and added a paragraph. Did the same to my classroom procedures note.
11:40am: Hey, we have a faculty meeting at 1pm. Better go get some lunch. We'll just go to Quizno's and bring it back.
12:05pm: Back from Quizno's, time to eat.
12:35pm: Check email, answer questions from the new employees that have stopped in my room. Run to printer to pick up printed drafts of parent letter and procedures.
12:45pm: Oh, damn. Time to head up to the media center for the faculty meeting. Hope I'll have time to do some work after the meeting. Can't imagine it will be more than an hour and a half, right? right?
1:00pm-3:35pm: Faculty meeting, in which I'm pretty sure I didn't actually learn anything new that wasn't also provided to me in printed form, which I could surely read on my own. I only have a Master's degree, though...so maybe I wouldn't be able to understand it. Or maybe it's just a requirement for us to sit in faculty meetings for a certain number of hours per year. I did get some quality doodling done. Graph paper is good for this. It almost makes me feel artistic.
3:45pm: Check mailbox and run back to room, quickly packing up so I can head home. I'd stay, but I have to drop my bike off at the shop before the mechanic leaves at 5pm.
3:55pm: Leave school.
So. There was what, 45 minutes of work time in there? Sure, I didn't have to go out to get food for lunch. I could have just packed a lunch or something, but when you only get to go out to lunch a handful of times per year, you like to take advantage of things. But honestly, I'm curious about how I'm supposed to get any *work* done on my workday when they schedule meetings that take up so much of my time. Thankfully tomorrow I only have one meeting. And another faculty meeting on Thursday, which just baffles me. 2.5 hours that I'll never get back apparently just weren't enough...
Ahh, I love teacher workdays.
7:45am: Arrive at the school just in time to board the bus, to get to another school for our county wide "Celebration" (read as: pep rally for the teachers, including the screaming and the cheering, and there was even an instance of body surfing)
8:15am: Arrive at aforementioned 2nd school and mosey into the auditorium amidst a plethora of overly enthusiastic elementary school teachers (see previous mention of body surfing).
8:30am: The "Celebration" begins! Mostly, they tell a few bad teacher jokes, give us some stats about the county school district, and attempt to inspire us to work even harder this year.
10:00am: Release from the mandatory celebration. That we were all told to wear the faculty shirts for, so we were all dressed alike. I mentioned this to my mom and she said it sounded an awful lot like Communism...
10:10am: Board the bus that was parked forever away to get back to my school.
10:35am: Finally arrive at my school. All right! Time to get some work done! After I walk up to the office, sign in, and check my mail box.
11:00am: Return to classroom after being wrapped up in various conversations on the way to and from the office. I think I promised to do several things which I can't remember at the moment. Hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the ass later...
11:00am-11:40am: All right! I actually did some work in this time. I...copy and pasted last year's parent letter and edited out about 20 words, and added a paragraph. Did the same to my classroom procedures note.
11:40am: Hey, we have a faculty meeting at 1pm. Better go get some lunch. We'll just go to Quizno's and bring it back.
12:05pm: Back from Quizno's, time to eat.
12:35pm: Check email, answer questions from the new employees that have stopped in my room. Run to printer to pick up printed drafts of parent letter and procedures.
12:45pm: Oh, damn. Time to head up to the media center for the faculty meeting. Hope I'll have time to do some work after the meeting. Can't imagine it will be more than an hour and a half, right? right?
1:00pm-3:35pm: Faculty meeting, in which I'm pretty sure I didn't actually learn anything new that wasn't also provided to me in printed form, which I could surely read on my own. I only have a Master's degree, though...so maybe I wouldn't be able to understand it. Or maybe it's just a requirement for us to sit in faculty meetings for a certain number of hours per year. I did get some quality doodling done. Graph paper is good for this. It almost makes me feel artistic.
3:45pm: Check mailbox and run back to room, quickly packing up so I can head home. I'd stay, but I have to drop my bike off at the shop before the mechanic leaves at 5pm.
3:55pm: Leave school.
So. There was what, 45 minutes of work time in there? Sure, I didn't have to go out to get food for lunch. I could have just packed a lunch or something, but when you only get to go out to lunch a handful of times per year, you like to take advantage of things. But honestly, I'm curious about how I'm supposed to get any *work* done on my workday when they schedule meetings that take up so much of my time. Thankfully tomorrow I only have one meeting. And another faculty meeting on Thursday, which just baffles me. 2.5 hours that I'll never get back apparently just weren't enough...
Ahh, I love teacher workdays.
Monday, August 18, 2008
scraping the bottom of the barrel
So. Just got back to my classroom today, for the first teacher workday. Seeing my room made me wonder what kind of trained monkey they had as the summer school teacher in my classroom. He used up all my staples and didn't replace them. He used all but about 3 of my post-it notes. My pencils were all gone. Common courtesy, I would think, would lead most people to replace such things before leaving. Heck, he could have gotten them all from our supply closet in the office.
But! It gets better. My posters were gone. They were there when I left, maintenance didn't remove them, and my beautiful map of fifteen century England is gone. How do you not notice kids taking and/or destroying a poster that was on the wall? I'd certainly make a point to leave the room the way I found it, if I were in some one else's classroom. I hear they were pretty desperate for summer school teachers, though. Wonder if he was even fully human.
Ok, ok. Some missing supplies and a few posters that, while I liked them, were admittedly free aren't really a huge deal. Easy enough to replace.
The big deal is the holes in my floor. Yes, you read that right. Somehow, they managed to make holes in the tile and get down to the sub floor. I'm just baffled. How does that happen? More importantly, how does that happen without the teacher noticing, throwing the kids out, reporting them, and getting them stuck with footing the bill? I mean...destruction of public property, here folks. I know that some of the kids at summer school this year were a little on the trouble side. That's how a lot of them ended up needing summer school in the first place. However, if you've gotten to the point that you are physically damaging my classroom for a prank (which is what I can only assume was the case), then to me, you've lost your chance at passing that class for the year. On the other end, that teacher should be kicked in the head repeatedly for letting that happen. I thought the teacher that let the kids draw on my floor (in permanent marker) was bad, but this definitely tops it by a lot. He also apparently let the kids write in our brand new EOC coach books that are not supposed to be used as workbooks. I almost wish I had agreed to work this summer.
I've been told that they put in a work order to fix the holes in my floor. A less cynical me would expect them to show up one morning during my planning, or perhaps after school some day soon. This week during work days would be ideal. Much more realistic after teaching there for three years, I'm guessing they'll show up in the middle of class next week. If I'm giving a quiz, chances of maintenance showing up increase tenfold.
We all know logic and public school systems don't mix.
But! It gets better. My posters were gone. They were there when I left, maintenance didn't remove them, and my beautiful map of fifteen century England is gone. How do you not notice kids taking and/or destroying a poster that was on the wall? I'd certainly make a point to leave the room the way I found it, if I were in some one else's classroom. I hear they were pretty desperate for summer school teachers, though. Wonder if he was even fully human.
Ok, ok. Some missing supplies and a few posters that, while I liked them, were admittedly free aren't really a huge deal. Easy enough to replace.
The big deal is the holes in my floor. Yes, you read that right. Somehow, they managed to make holes in the tile and get down to the sub floor. I'm just baffled. How does that happen? More importantly, how does that happen without the teacher noticing, throwing the kids out, reporting them, and getting them stuck with footing the bill? I mean...destruction of public property, here folks. I know that some of the kids at summer school this year were a little on the trouble side. That's how a lot of them ended up needing summer school in the first place. However, if you've gotten to the point that you are physically damaging my classroom for a prank (which is what I can only assume was the case), then to me, you've lost your chance at passing that class for the year. On the other end, that teacher should be kicked in the head repeatedly for letting that happen. I thought the teacher that let the kids draw on my floor (in permanent marker) was bad, but this definitely tops it by a lot. He also apparently let the kids write in our brand new EOC coach books that are not supposed to be used as workbooks. I almost wish I had agreed to work this summer.
I've been told that they put in a work order to fix the holes in my floor. A less cynical me would expect them to show up one morning during my planning, or perhaps after school some day soon. This week during work days would be ideal. Much more realistic after teaching there for three years, I'm guessing they'll show up in the middle of class next week. If I'm giving a quiz, chances of maintenance showing up increase tenfold.
We all know logic and public school systems don't mix.
Friday, August 8, 2008
impatiently waiting
I went on vacation this week, and it was fun. It was also a pleasant distraction from my thoughts of the impending school year. I didn't think about class rosters, gradebooks, homework assignments, or any of that crap while I was away. As soon as I got home, though, I was kind of expecting to see my beginning-of-the-year packet in the mail. Afterall, teacher workdays start a week from Monday. I'm sure that by now they at least have a schedule for me, so I can start planning how my days will go.
The all important tidbit, of course, is when my planning period will be. All teachers wait eagerly to hear when that will be. It's our moment of peace in the day, when we don't have to deal with students. It's when we get to do all that teacher stuff. Like...copying things, for our students to do. Grading papers that our students did. Making angry marks on the papers that our students (I just typed "stupids" ...Freudian slip anyone?) filled out incorrectly, or worse, copied off of other students. Often they've copied it off of students that have filled it out incorrectly. Double whammie. Planning period is the time we get to call the parents of the students that did something great, or more often, something stupid. It's a chance for us to go talk to other teachers about ways to help certain students understand something, or new ways to present things to our students.
Yep. No dealing with students at all during your planning period.
Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that often students will come to make up tests or quizzes during your planning period.
Anyway. I'd really just like to know when my planning period will be, and which classes I'll be teaching when. I really don't think that's too much to ask for. But, I guess all these crazy delays in scheduling info are because my school is in the process of switching from our old system, SIMS, to our new system, NCWise. Don't let the name fool you. It probably should have been called NCrefreakingtarded, but that was surely too long to be easily remembered. From what I've gotten to do with the system so far, it has a few minor improvements over SIMS, but mostly just sucks. Sure, I'm supposed to have all my students' contact information right at my fingertips...and it's there all right. But most of the phone numbers are no longer in service, or missing all together, and that's about as much as I can get to from it. Email addresses? Nah, too logical to make those easily accessible on the web. I'm supposed to be able to look at my students' full schedules, so I can see what other classes they're in, and how they're doing. Oh, right, but I didn't have access to that information...it's classified. Oh yeah, and when the database converted grades from numeric to letter grades, the system translated 77s as Ds when they're supposed to be Cs, so we all had to go back and change the grade by hand for every student that got a 77. I had a lot of mediocre achievers last semester, which means I had a lot of 77s to fix...
Upon further reflection, it seems that the fact that I still don't know what I'll be teaching 2 weeks from now can clearly be blamed on NCTard. Way to go, state inflicted programming.
The all important tidbit, of course, is when my planning period will be. All teachers wait eagerly to hear when that will be. It's our moment of peace in the day, when we don't have to deal with students. It's when we get to do all that teacher stuff. Like...copying things, for our students to do. Grading papers that our students did. Making angry marks on the papers that our students (I just typed "stupids" ...Freudian slip anyone?) filled out incorrectly, or worse, copied off of other students. Often they've copied it off of students that have filled it out incorrectly. Double whammie. Planning period is the time we get to call the parents of the students that did something great, or more often, something stupid. It's a chance for us to go talk to other teachers about ways to help certain students understand something, or new ways to present things to our students.
Yep. No dealing with students at all during your planning period.
Oh yeah, I also forgot to mention that often students will come to make up tests or quizzes during your planning period.
Anyway. I'd really just like to know when my planning period will be, and which classes I'll be teaching when. I really don't think that's too much to ask for. But, I guess all these crazy delays in scheduling info are because my school is in the process of switching from our old system, SIMS, to our new system, NCWise. Don't let the name fool you. It probably should have been called NCrefreakingtarded, but that was surely too long to be easily remembered. From what I've gotten to do with the system so far, it has a few minor improvements over SIMS, but mostly just sucks. Sure, I'm supposed to have all my students' contact information right at my fingertips...and it's there all right. But most of the phone numbers are no longer in service, or missing all together, and that's about as much as I can get to from it. Email addresses? Nah, too logical to make those easily accessible on the web. I'm supposed to be able to look at my students' full schedules, so I can see what other classes they're in, and how they're doing. Oh, right, but I didn't have access to that information...it's classified. Oh yeah, and when the database converted grades from numeric to letter grades, the system translated 77s as Ds when they're supposed to be Cs, so we all had to go back and change the grade by hand for every student that got a 77. I had a lot of mediocre achievers last semester, which means I had a lot of 77s to fix...
Upon further reflection, it seems that the fact that I still don't know what I'll be teaching 2 weeks from now can clearly be blamed on NCTard. Way to go, state inflicted programming.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
New beginnings
After finishing my first three years of teaching, I've decided that instead of posting all the fabulous insights I learn throughout the year on my online journal, I'll jump on the bandwagon and start a blog. I mean, everyone else and their cousin has one, so why not me? So I'll be chronicling all the things I learn from my kids this year, and I mean that both literally and with heavy sarcasm. I've had some really heartwarming moments in my 3 years in the classroom. I've also had the stupid pile up so thick that I would have been better off with a sturdy pair of waders than my cute little flip flops.
I make no promises to be funny, though with some of the material my students give me, it's hard not to be. Some of the writing they try to pass off as their own is just downright hilarious, since I'm pretty sure I haven't had any kids that were ready for publication yet. And the shit they *do* write on their own is even better. I mean, this past year one brilliant child, whose paper was in 16 point font and a whopping page and a half long when the assignment was for 3-5 pages in 12 point font, noted at the bottom of his paper that "i didn't use any other sources, just what i learned from reading the book and in U.S. history class." Well. That certainly makes sense. Why would you do research for a research paper? Pfft. Just use what you know, it saves me time. And red ink.
All brutal mocking aside, I love my job, and despite the headaches that are usually associated with all the non-teaching parts of it, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I attended a workshop this summer with a very cheesy title this summer: Capturing Kids Hearts. Despite the overly-Hallmark sentiment in the title, I learned a lot of good things I hope to use this year, and I hope they'll make a strong, positive difference in my classroom. There is one thing that I will ruthlessly ignore from that workshop, however. They told me not to use sarcasm. That...that just won't work for me. At all. I'd have to just stand there and point at things, which would probably be less than helpful in teaching my kids about the literature I'm pretty sure 90% of them won't actually read. I like sarcasm. It's my friend. Ok, not really, but we're more than just passing acquaintances.
So yeah, we'll see how well I keep up with this, but I'll do my best. Some posts about how great my kids are, some posts about how stupid their behavior can be. Probably a fair number of posts about how much No Child Left Behind really means Every Child Made Mediocre at Best, and some griping about the administration. I'll try to keep it entertaining. Hell, playing "find the logic in this new task" is often entertaining in the teaching world. It's a game we play often. We usually lose.
Teacher workdays start August 18th, and classes start the 25th. Any bets on when I'll get to know what classes I'll be teaching, or heaven forbid get a class roster?
I make no promises to be funny, though with some of the material my students give me, it's hard not to be. Some of the writing they try to pass off as their own is just downright hilarious, since I'm pretty sure I haven't had any kids that were ready for publication yet. And the shit they *do* write on their own is even better. I mean, this past year one brilliant child, whose paper was in 16 point font and a whopping page and a half long when the assignment was for 3-5 pages in 12 point font, noted at the bottom of his paper that "i didn't use any other sources, just what i learned from reading the book and in U.S. history class." Well. That certainly makes sense. Why would you do research for a research paper? Pfft. Just use what you know, it saves me time. And red ink.
All brutal mocking aside, I love my job, and despite the headaches that are usually associated with all the non-teaching parts of it, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I attended a workshop this summer with a very cheesy title this summer: Capturing Kids Hearts. Despite the overly-Hallmark sentiment in the title, I learned a lot of good things I hope to use this year, and I hope they'll make a strong, positive difference in my classroom. There is one thing that I will ruthlessly ignore from that workshop, however. They told me not to use sarcasm. That...that just won't work for me. At all. I'd have to just stand there and point at things, which would probably be less than helpful in teaching my kids about the literature I'm pretty sure 90% of them won't actually read. I like sarcasm. It's my friend. Ok, not really, but we're more than just passing acquaintances.
So yeah, we'll see how well I keep up with this, but I'll do my best. Some posts about how great my kids are, some posts about how stupid their behavior can be. Probably a fair number of posts about how much No Child Left Behind really means Every Child Made Mediocre at Best, and some griping about the administration. I'll try to keep it entertaining. Hell, playing "find the logic in this new task" is often entertaining in the teaching world. It's a game we play often. We usually lose.
Teacher workdays start August 18th, and classes start the 25th. Any bets on when I'll get to know what classes I'll be teaching, or heaven forbid get a class roster?
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