For some reason, all of my students seem to think that the rules don't apply to them.
I announced on Monday of this week that all make-up and late work needed to be in by Friday, since it is the end of the grading period on Monday the 27th, and I need time to grade things. Despite the fact that I posted this on the board and reminded them every day this week, I had at least a dozen students today ask me if they could turn in x-assignment on Monday.
This baffles me. What part of "all work must be in by Friday, October 24th to receive credit" is confusing? There was no fine print that said, "I'll accept it later if you ask nicely!" Or, "Flash you're 'I'm special' card to receive a weekend extension on assignments!"
Equally baffling are the kids that turn in an assignment at the beginning of class, and then ask me at some point later in the same class period what their updated grade in the class is. Apparently they think the papers grade themselves and are cooperative enough to enter their scores into the computer for me. I'll admit, there are some kids smart enough to preface their question with "If I get full credit for that," before they ask what their grade will be. I still want to laugh at them though.
A: if you're turning in late, you're not getting full credit.
B: Your idea of done completely and my idea of done completely are in all likelihood completely different.
C: Even if I could somehow predict how well you had done on the assignment without actually looking at it (which actually for some of them I probably could, because they probably did a shitty job of it), why do you think that your English teacher is so good at math that she could calculate the change in grade in her head. Or hell, remember what your grade was to begin with. Sorry there, bright one, but I have over 90 students, and I'd be flat out lying if I told you I knew your grades by heart. Even if I could remember all those numbers, I wouldn't want to take up all that space in my brain. Why memorize something that the computer can keep track of for me?
I get endless chuckles (in my head, at least...I try not to laugh in their face) from seniors that seem to think they can raise their grade from a C to an A in one day, or with one extra credit assignment. They desperately want an A so they don't have to take the final exam, but they're not willing to work for it consistently, and think it's reasonable to try do it all last second. Some of these kids need a quick reality check, if they think that's the way the world works. Granted, there are exceptions to all rules, but in general, if you want to be exempt from the final, you have to work consistently. Sorry 20 missing assignments boy, there's nothing you can do at this point to get exempt.
Added bonus stupid for today: several of my students told me point blank that Obama was the anti-christ. When I asked them their source, they told me their minister told them it was in the Bible, but couldn't give any details. It's beliefs like this that scare me. What's worse is that they don't teach their children to question what they're told, they just absorb it, and cling to it with all their might. Ahh, those crazy fundies...
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Reflections on an American classic
As an English teacher, one of the requirements of my job is to assign essays. The most recent was an in-class essay reflection on The Crucible. I can't help but get upset when I grade things like this, however, because it seems that somewhere down the line, elementary and middle school has failed. I get Juniors that can't write a coherent sentence, and I don't mean just one or two of them. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with a "sentence" like this:
Abbigail was my least favorite Because she thought that she was people only her signed but she was lieing the hole time that she did it so she the one I dont like the most time so that is the person I least like the most is Abbigail the dum one.
I can't honestly say I know what he's talking about. I know it's supposed to be telling me about why Abigail Williams is his least favorite character in The Crucible, but I'm not sure what that he really means. Of course, another student gave me some very prudent information about how the ending could have been made better:
Th were plenty of ways to avoid what happened in the end of the movie. One incedent is when the head of the court asked elizebeth Proctor what happend with abbigail and her husbaned. All she had to do is tell th truth about what had happend. THey the would have relized she was just a crazy hoe!.
You can't argue with his logic, perhaps, but you can most definitely laugh at his lack of a command of the English language. I also was unaware that Abigail was a garden tool.
One girl made a good recommendation about how to prove that Abigail was just acting and the girls were just following her.
A way they could have avoid the end of the play is to get Abby alone and put her on the spot. If the court people would've done that they would have seen that there was no evil things. Also, get all the girls by themselfs to show how they really are. or, the cour people could have done lie detectors.
I didn't know the Puritans had access to such technology! Actually, the problem is that somehow, despite the costuming in the movie and the fact that I said it took place in the 1860s a good half a dozen times, she thought these events took place in the 1950s. Of course, this was the same girl that thought I was serious when I said I was allergic to lies, which could explain a lot.
And some of them just...can't write. It's like there's some sort of disconnect between their brain and their hands. I mean, I almost thought this student was intelligent from talking to her. Then I got her first written assignment, and I was just baffled. What am I supposed to do to help a high school Junior that writes like this:
The movie made me feel like they was just hurting people for know reason. Abgail made me feel like she was try to blame everyone else and she would not to tell them she did it. It was dump because Abgail was trying to get out of it. why would they think people would do witch craft. Yes because he could have just confese of being a witch. Then his name just would have change. They would have probably for gave him. He wouldn't been hung.
Transitions? What transitions? Wouldn't want your readers to actually be able to follow along, would you? And just all the little things that make me both laugh and cry. Mostly laugh, but I think that's largely a defense mechanism so I don't try to gouge out my eyes with a spoon.
On the plus side, I'm done grading those essays. On the minus side, these are the same kids I have to somehow coax a 5 page research paper out of by the end of the semester...
Abbigail was my least favorite Because she thought that she was people only her signed but she was lieing the hole time that she did it so she the one I dont like the most time so that is the person I least like the most is Abbigail the dum one.
I can't honestly say I know what he's talking about. I know it's supposed to be telling me about why Abigail Williams is his least favorite character in The Crucible, but I'm not sure what that he really means. Of course, another student gave me some very prudent information about how the ending could have been made better:
Th were plenty of ways to avoid what happened in the end of the movie. One incedent is when the head of the court asked elizebeth Proctor what happend with abbigail and her husbaned. All she had to do is tell th truth about what had happend. THey the would have relized she was just a crazy hoe!.
You can't argue with his logic, perhaps, but you can most definitely laugh at his lack of a command of the English language. I also was unaware that Abigail was a garden tool.
One girl made a good recommendation about how to prove that Abigail was just acting and the girls were just following her.
A way they could have avoid the end of the play is to get Abby alone and put her on the spot. If the court people would've done that they would have seen that there was no evil things. Also, get all the girls by themselfs to show how they really are. or, the cour people could have done lie detectors.
I didn't know the Puritans had access to such technology! Actually, the problem is that somehow, despite the costuming in the movie and the fact that I said it took place in the 1860s a good half a dozen times, she thought these events took place in the 1950s. Of course, this was the same girl that thought I was serious when I said I was allergic to lies, which could explain a lot.
And some of them just...can't write. It's like there's some sort of disconnect between their brain and their hands. I mean, I almost thought this student was intelligent from talking to her. Then I got her first written assignment, and I was just baffled. What am I supposed to do to help a high school Junior that writes like this:
The movie made me feel like they was just hurting people for know reason. Abgail made me feel like she was try to blame everyone else and she would not to tell them she did it. It was dump because Abgail was trying to get out of it. why would they think people would do witch craft. Yes because he could have just confese of being a witch. Then his name just would have change. They would have probably for gave him. He wouldn't been hung.
Transitions? What transitions? Wouldn't want your readers to actually be able to follow along, would you? And just all the little things that make me both laugh and cry. Mostly laugh, but I think that's largely a defense mechanism so I don't try to gouge out my eyes with a spoon.
On the plus side, I'm done grading those essays. On the minus side, these are the same kids I have to somehow coax a 5 page research paper out of by the end of the semester...
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